Pie-Crust Patriotism: Michael Moore Rewrites The Pledge Of Allegiance

Authored by Jonathan Turley,

Filmmaker Michael Moore has decided that it is time to rewrite the Pledge of Allegiance in the name of tolerance and unity while attacking “MAGA-heads” and President Trump. If that seems confusing, it is a model of clarity when compared to the new pledge.

Mary Poppins (who is perfect in everyway) would likely call this “pie-crust patriotism.”

Moore has previously sought to amend the Constitution by repealing the Second Amendment. He also suggested surrounding the Supreme Court to prevent the confirmation of another conservative justice (without explaining how such a blockade would stop a confirmation across the street).

He is now turning his hand to the Pledge of Allegiance.

Many Americans are understandably a tad attached to our pledge, starting with “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Rev. Francis Bellamy would not likely be won over by the Moore remake. (The phrase “under God” was incorporated later into the Pledge of Allegiance on June 14, 1954). Here is the new version:

“I pledge allegiance to the people of the United States of America. And to the democracy for which we all stand: One person, one vote, one nation, part of one world, everyone! A seat at the table! Everyone! A slice of the pie! With liberty and justice, equality, and kindness and the pursuit of happiness for all.”

As an initial matter, I fail to see how the nation is embodied by a run-on sentence that has more exclamation marks than a pre-teen’s text to bffs.

The call for unity is particularly curious from a person who has labeled Republicans as racists and consistently engaged in rage rhetoric.

Among his prior unifying, “slice of the pie” declarations was that white people “are not good people” and are inherently dangerous.

The Moore pledge has all of the elements that would unify any gathering on Rodeo Drive.

It replaces nationalism with globalism and introduces a pastry-based patriotism.

To paraphrase Mary Poppins, “Oh, that’s a piecrust [pledge]! Easily made, easily broken!”